The thing that is so universal about frustration is that it applies to all aspects of living.
To form a basis that we can build from, lets set some foundation so we can tackle the problem of frustration. Lets imagine that this post is like calculating a physics problem in a vacuum tube devoid of any friction. Its not meant to be the end all solution to all people's problems with frustration, its more of an ideal that hopefully we can learn some fundamentals from to gain some understanding, which hopefully can be applied to our everyday situations in life.
Life 101.
Frustration.. in a vacuum tube.
Frustration Defined.
- an emotional response to circumstances where one's goals are thwarted.
To put it simple, frustration is how we feel when we are trying to achieve something and ultimately, we do not meet that achievement.
Now its time to define one more word, what exactly is an achievement? Lets break it down into two parts: Life Needs, and Wants.
Because life wants are so varied and can be justified in a million ways, in this discussion, we're only going to address life needs. For now, lets consider life wants as the friction in our experiment which will be absent.. for now.
To simply our problem of basic needs in life, lets break it down into three main categories.
Health: the general condition of both body and mind.
Wealth: financial well-being.
Love: social well-being.
Returning to our problem of frustration we have a few things to look at now.
I. We know that frustration is not being able to achieve something.
II. Also, we know that achievement in life is based on needs and wants.
III. Therefore, one important source of frustration, stems from inadequate gains in our basic needs in life (health, wealth, & love).
Since we now know where frustration can come from, how do we address it? Sadly, its time for some tough love..
Its time to shift our focus to another word, and people.. that word is control.
To understand how to tackle frustration in a systematic way, we as people need to understand a simple fact: Some things in life can be in your control, and some things in life are not in your control.
We as humans, rational creatures, must know the level of control we have over things in life. Control is the ability for individuals to influence outcomes and achievements. And now its time for a cold hard fact: If you don't have control over a situation, then there is no way that you can influence the outcome.
This next sentence, we all need to read very slowly, so that we can understand it.
If we can acknowledge that a set goal that is made to better one of the three basic needs of life (health, wealth, & love) is actually a situation that we have no control over, we must realize that there is nothing that can influence its outcome.
Now, if you can't influence the outcome of a particular situation or goal, there should be no reason to feel frustration from the resulting outcome.
That realization might be hard for many to swallow, but its something that objectively, we can all agree to. You couldn't do anything to change the outcome, so why feel frustrated as though you could have?
As robotic and cold as it sounds, it is the truth. And sometimes, the truth sucks. You just gotta know that some things in life are out of your control. People, you can't beat yourself up about things that you have no control over. True, not everyone is perfect and disciplined enough to follow this rule 100000%, but thats ok. Whatever we can do as individuals to better understand a situation, and therefore find some amount of alleviation is one step closer to getting rid of our frustrations in life.
Now, lets look at the other half of the equation. What if we do have control over a situation?
Having control means that you have influence in the outcome of a situation.
Hard life fact #2: If you really need something in life, you gotta do everything in your power (with adherence to social objective morality) to get it. There are no consolation prizes in life people, you get nothing for not achieving a set goal. All you get is frustration.
The big difference between this frustration, and the first type of frustration outlined above is this: having influence means that the outcome can be different. This means that even if you fail, you can do things that will make the outcome different the 2nd time around. The frustration from failing, can be erased by succeeding in your goal. If you really need that goal, you gotta do everything in your power to get it done.
Lets do a recap of what we have.
1. Frustration stems from unachieved situations in life.
2. Situations stem from the 3 basic needs in life (health, wealth & love).
3. Some situations in life can be influenced, some situations cannot be influenced.
4. Frustration stemming from situations that we have no control over does not need to exist, because the outcome of those situations cannot be influenced.
5. Frustration stemming from situations that we do have control over can be erased, because the outcome of those situations can be influenced.
Logically following, we have 2 types of frustration that are defined by the level of control that we as individuals have over them.
What we need to do then to ease our frustrations in life, is to determine whether or not there is a level of control that exists. Is whatever you're frustrated over something that you have control of? Or is it something that you don't have control of?
This is the crux of our class today. Determining the level of control that we have. By knowing whether or not control exists, we should be able to ease some of our frustrations in life.
Again, we're not perfect. This is not meant to be the end all solution or law to solving life's problems. Its just something that maybe we should think about, to better understand life's problems.
Take it with a grain of salt, but take it.
